Janet's Mission 7: Size Does Matter
by Dancing Through Life
Summary: The final chapter to the Janet's Mission series.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Well folks, here it is. The end of the series. I'm starting a new series, keep watch for it (I don't know what I'm calling it yet, though). To all my faithful reviewers, thanks for the support. I really appreciated the reviews that you left and the constant nagging to continue even after my sick leave was over and I became part of the human race again. Once again, thanks.

* * *

"Well, Carter, for once I can proudly say that everything must end." Jack O'Neill said without looking up from his paperwork.

"It wouldn't have been so difficult if you had just gone along with it," Sam Carter said from the other side of the room.

"Carter, it is against my code of living to willingly let that woman poke me up. The fact that she managed to find me. You, on the other hand, willingly walked into her clutches each time."

"Only to avoid what was happening to you." Jack looked up and raised his eyebrow at her.

"What's this? Are you telling me Samantha Carter did not appreciate the job her best friend was doing on her?" Sam sighed. She knew it would've come out sooner or later.

"Actually, Sir, I've got something to confess…."

* * *

Janet Frasier had never been so proud of herself.

For the past three weeks, she had attempted to give Colonel O'Neill his booster shots for an alien form of Lyme's Disease he and Major Carter had contracted. Major Carter had been easy – she had come in exactly when she was supposed to.

The Colonel, on the other hand, had tried avoiding her to no end. She had followed him offworld, crashed an SG-1 movie night, invited herself to a team dinner at O'Malley's, drugged his coffee so she could catch him when he came to soak his knee in the Whirlpool, tricked him into going to see his clone at school, and even scared him off to San Diego with Sam and met him at the security gate as he came home.

Overall, she found these feats of hers impressive.

But she was really pleased with herself about was that the Colonel was finally surrendering himself. He was coming in today with Major Carter. There would be no fuss, no fight, and no fury from General Hammond.

Yup, she had done well these past few weeks. Now the Colonel and Sam had only one shot left each. And she was going to make sure it was as painless as possible.

* * *

"Colonel! Major! So glad to see you both." Janet greeted as the two officers trudged into her territory. A feeling of glee rose in Janet – she finally had the Colonel in her turf.

"Before we do anything, Doc," O'Neill began. "I want to get a few things straight."

"Certainly, Colonel," Janet assured, giving the security guard behind her the signal to lock the door. O'Neill getting something straight was never good news.

"First off, I am only here because with the last expedition, I have come to realize that no matter where I go, you will find me with these shots. You have in no way won anything with my being here."

Janet couldn't repress a snort.

"Secondly, I do not appreciate Carter teaming up with you. That was a low blow ladies, a real low blow."

Carter looked genuinely guilty.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I guess it took some of the edge off getting my own shots." Janet was shooting Sam daggers.

"You were supposed to switch his coffee! Not hand it to him full out!"

"He was late to work that day! He didn't have it yet!"

"It doesn't matter what I was doing! It matters that my own 2IC switched sides!"

"And then switched back!"

At this point, everything went silent. Everyone needed to catch their breath again.

"Okay, fine," O'Neill said. I didn't come here to argue, and neither did Carter."

"Point taken, Sir. Can I give you you're final shot now?"

"No. I'm not finished yet."

Janet was amazed. How could he not be finished? He had made his point.

And then she remembered who she was talking to.

Colonel O'Neill would go to all lengths to avoid her shots, and today was no exception. Why had she thought today would be any different?

Because he willingly had brought himself to her infirmary.

Something wasn't right here.

"Well then, Colonel, what else do you need to say? And if this is only for procrastination purposes, I was going to do this gently. You're giving me second thoughts now."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that if you're just going through all of this to make me forget or feel too guilty to give you this final Lyme shot, you are wasting your time."

Jack shrugged.

"Fine then. Give me your shot and I'll make the final point after you give it to me."

"Fair enough."

Janet give the Colonel his first, knowing that he could try to bolt at any time. She hadn't given the guards the signal to open the doors again yet. She was too suspicious as O'Neill sat unnaturally still for his booster.

Major Carter, who always came for her shot, did not argue about anything. That too was worrying Janet.

What was going on here?

"Alright," Janet addressed them as she finished. "What was your third point, Colonel?"

"Doc, you have always been good at what you do. Very good. So good, in fact, that certain personnel around the base have started calling you the "Napoleonic Needle Pusher.""

"After they heard it from you, Colonel. By the way, on that note, every time after I had to track you down or lure you from somewhere, I've noticed that portions of my needles have gone missing. I'd like those back, Colonel."

"All in due time, Doc, all in due time. Anyway, I have been observing that while Carter and I have had god knows how many needles up our arms recently, you have not had any. This is hardly fair, Doc, hardly fair."

"That's because I do it myself – I do it to everyone else, I just follow the rules as well."

"But no one has seen this, have they?"

"What, so getting a shot requires a witness now?"

"On this base it does," Carter piped in.

"You, stay out of this," Janet told her.

"Oh, no, Doc, she's very much a part of this. Jack said with a wicked grin. He stood up and began to advance. Sam was right behind him. Janet began to back up.

"Colonel, what's this all about?"

"It's payback time, you Napoleonic Needle Pusher." And with that, both he and Sam pulled out some of the stolen needles.

"Hey! No fair! I can't get away, both of you have longer legs than I do!"

"All the better to chase you with, my dear," Jack grinned.

Janet ran, giving the signal for security to open the doors, even though she knew it would take them several minutes to open.

She should have known this was coming. She should've known.

And to think she wasgoing to try to be nicethis time around.

But in spite of herself, she couldn't help but smile as she dove under a bed and army crawled to the other side.

Who was the Napoleonic Needle Pusher now?


End file.
